Neuro Linguistic Programming – A Beginners Guide
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What is Neuro Linguistic Programming?
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) examines the cogs inside the machine that is the human mind; it helps us understand what drives human behaviour. It focuses on how our thoughts, actions, emotions, and numerous other individual characteristics work together to affect how we conduct ourselves.
The developers of NLP – Richard Bandler and Dr. John Grinder – searched for the essence of behavioural change; they were determined to understand the hidden grammar of thinking and human conduct. This desire led to the development of NLP. By studying NLP’s models and utilising its skills, anyone can use their own mental software to change the ways they habitually behave – to literally reprogram their mind.
Perhaps best phrased by the official Neuro Linguistic Programming website, NLP helps us “learn how to gain more control over what we considered to be automatic functions of our own neurology.” Its methods and insights are gateways through which the individual can approach situations from fresh, new angles. They help us re-evaluate the ways we handle tasks, engage in conversations, or respond – physically and emotionally – to the circumstances we are in.
Introducing Metaprograms
NLP asserts that human behaviour is composed almost entirely of habits and patterns of behaviour. Anyone can sit in the driver’s seat of their brain once they recognise how these habits and patterns affect their behaviour. The range of topics covered by NLP is vast and detailed; too vast to be discussed completely in one article. One of the more intriguing ones, however, is about the habits relating to what it is that motivates us and the reasoning behind the decisions we make.
These are referred to as metaprograms.
Metaprograms are our mental processes which manage, guide, and determine various other mental processes. The name is borrowed from computer science terminology; it references the ways in which programs function on a computer.
To put it simplistically, ‘meta’ means something that is at a higher level, while ‘programs’ are what instruct something to run on a PC. Metaprograms are therefore the primary ‘programs’ – your built-in habits – which direct other ‘programs’ in the computer that is your mind. There are numerous metaprograms intrinsic to NLP – more than the common five below – and you may see them phrased in different ways across the internet.
The 5 Most Common Metaprograms
These five are the most common metaprograms which identify how our minds are hardwired and how this determines our behaviour:
- Towards and away
- Internal and external
- Sameness and difference
- Proactive and reactive
- Options and procedures
You may notice while reading the following descriptions that you don’t fit into just one side. Indeed, not everyone will fit strictly into one or the other; there are people who exhibit traits of both. Metaprograms simply describe the reasoning behind people’s behaviour and categorise them accordingly; they are not intended to divide people straight down the middle.
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Towards and away
People who have a ‘towards’ program are driven by reaching targets; they tend to move towards gaining pleasure and accomplishing goals. You set yourself goals easily and frequently; this is what motivates you. Your behaviour is driven by your desire to achieve and complete things, which gives you a sense of satisfaction.
Those with an ‘away’ program, however, are focused on moving away from pain and avoiding risks; they are driven by averting problems. You ensure that everything is safe and free of uncomfortable consequences and potential crisis before proceeding.
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Internal and external
Those with an ‘internal’ program set standards for themselves in terms of approval and decision making. You won’t seek proof of doing a good job or making a good decision; you ‘just know’ when you have done well and have met your own personal standards. Too much feedback may demotivate you; you need space to crack on and accomplish the task your way.
Those with an ‘external’ program look to others for standards and direction; they require outside approval and guidance. You prefer to be managed and supervised and benefit from a pat on the back every now and then so that you know your work is good. Without feedback, you may feel demotivated or unsure of your own capabilities.
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Sameness and difference
Those with a ‘sameness’ program are motivated by the similarities in things; they readily identify similarities and thrive on activities that do not extend out of their comfort zone. This sense of familiarity is reassuring to you and helps you liken the things you are looking at or your current circumstances with previous experiences. Repetition is, to you, a good thing.
Those with a ‘difference’ program are, oppositely, attuned to the differences in things and are open to trying new things and creating changes. You look for inconsistencies and actively work on rectifying them – fine-tuning, even where it isn’t necessarily needed. Recognising differences enables you to understand and explore other possibilities.
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Proactive and reactive
Those with a ‘proactive’ program are initiators; they will get on with the task at hand without delay. You are fully committed to the present and tend not to worry too much about what will come later down the line. You focus on things that are real – things that are concrete and things you know to be true. You concentrate on the tasks you have accomplished or are currently accomplishing.
Those with a ‘reactive’ program spend time planning ahead and analysing things; their decisions require careful consideration. You typically work within your own timeframe – dedicating this time to deliberation – and may find yourself thinking ‘should’ve’, ‘could’ve’, ‘would’ve’. Your focus is on scheduling and assessing – waiting for the right moment and preparing to begin a task.
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Options and procedures
Those with an ‘options’ program work best when they have an overview of something; they are not fussed about having finer details. Too much structure is confining to you and you prefer to have more choice. You like to have the option of exploring things further or other aspects for yourself.
Those with a ‘procedures’ program alternatively work strongest when they are presented with specific answers and organised details. They aim to do things the ‘right way’. You prefer routines and structure and wish to be given all information possible, which enables you to work efficiently.
Many people will have a mix of these patterns of behaviour, but will no doubt lean one way more than the other. Whatever the case, these NLP metaprograms are interesting windows into the human mind and help us understand ourselves.
In addition, because these patterns help us understand other human beings, we can work better with others and gain a stronger understanding of their personal behaviours and preferences. NLP helps us build bridges with others.
With NLP, you can gain full control of your mind and identify the ways in which you function most effectively. This will enable you to adopt a positive frame of mind and thrive in whatever your role may be. By recognising what the intrinsic values of ourselves and others are, we can adapt ourselves to situations and perform our absolute best.
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